Chapter 19:: You're so Vain. . .

Figure 1

Sad Factor	Tested and Verified Solution
30% on first Psych test	Jane Austen and Chocolate
High School Drama in College	Jane Austen and Chocolate
Confusion about life-long goals	Jane Austen. Meh. Throw some Chocolate in there.
Feeling like dropping out of college because you’ll never EVER be on a ballroom team or orchestra ‘cause everyone else is SO much better than you are and trying so hard in school results in the same as not trying at all except for the added tiredness and unhappiness and your family is literally becoming destitute and you know it’s all your fault and so you HAVE to get good grades or they’re going into debt for nothing and your bishop most likely hates you which shouldn’t be too much of a problem since you have to move home with your parents for the next semester because you’ve drained their last reserves and so you’ll rarely ever see your ward friends again and on top of that you’ve already accumulated your freshman 15 from all the chocolate and Jane Austen seshes.	This is a complicated matter. And when Jane Austen and Chocolate just won’t do, a midnight jog is for you. No rhyme intended. Run until you can’t breathe, then keep running. Select a secluded spot as you run. Upon arrival, curl up in a corner and cry. Then pray. Then cry again. When your tear ducts are sufficiently depleted, find some sort of animal, preferably shorter than your knee-line (Any bigger tends to diminish the cuteness factor). Ducks are fine. Babies, of any species, are optimal. After animal selection, let said animal comfort you as you see fit.